Teens and Tiaras

 What does it mean to be British? Is the heart of the ‘British bulldog spirit’ captured in the cultivated voices of the dying upper class, or embodied in the broad accents of the working? Is it subtly reflected in the educated opinions of the middle class, or in the vibrant culture of immigrants? We say that man and the world is going through an evolution. Yet are we truly prepared to allow that theory of evolution to transgress to a nation’s identity, or would we rather believe that what was British 200 years ago is British in 2010?

 

Channel 4’s Cutting Edge documentary this December, focused on the dying breed of Debutantes and the social life of London’s diminishing elite, as it aimed to shed light on this ceremony that was

‘a reflection of Britain’s culture, history and identity.’

The documentary, aired during the last month of 09, followed young teens over a period of 6 months as they learnt what it meant to truly ‘come-out’ in society. Not in terms of admitting your sexuality, but rather in expressing your readiness to be married.

Yet as honourable and passionate  as the two women who ran the course were about the importance of Debutantes a tradition aimed at teaching socially adept women how to mingle, set dinner tables, and be courteous in the hopes of finding a suitable marriage partner, it left much doubt in my mind of its validity not only in today’s society but in today’s mind. The group of young girls selected were evidently from a grammar or private school, with names that suggested they were from the upper echelons of society. Although in the past these were without doubt the girls that became young debs, in fighting for a place in modern society, surely the course should’ve been more…diverse. When Jennie and Patricia stated they were reintroducing this programme to preserve British culture, surely they were meaning to preserve the upper classes. As the class system is disintegrating and blending into a mix of lower and middle, preservation of the elite is simply a euphemism for segregation from the masses.

‘Debutantes should be well-educated, respectful and aware of their guests and acquaintances.’

Unfortunately, the level of respect and awareness fell through the floor when these young teens were given the opportunity to meet the Prime Minister of Macedonia –  and didn’t even know his name. Did they even know where Macedonia was? A quick check on Wikipedia would’ve given them enough to sound aware, and yet as luck had it, they were late in arriving so missed him anyway. In visiting an orphanage that their charities supported, they were unable a few hours later to recall the names of the orphans. If there was genuine care would there not be genuine interest?  If one honestly cared about those disabled children, any NGO would provide the opportunity to help in a practical way, not just a visit and a smile. Is this the reflection of British society we wish the world to hold? That we haven’t enough respect to know the name of a Prime minister we have the honour of meeting, or remembering the names of children we hope to help?

It was however evident that the course for these debs was positive in many aspects. One grew in confidence, loosing her shyness and becoming a stronger woman. When speaking to older debs, it was evident that not only did the experience give them confidence in themselves, but made them able to enter any social situation and feel relaxed in it, coming away successful. But surely this ‘life course’ could be done at a much cheaper price within schools or youth centres sans the dresses, jewellery and expensive parties? Many of the young women enrolled admitted they wouldn’t want to get married until they could ‘stand on their own two feet, ‘complete Uni’ be independent’. Surely then the point of debutantes has been made obsolete, as marriage is not in the plans.

 All though the programme was an interesting twist and turn of beautiful functions, girls, dresses, and all the hopes of princesses, I wonder whether it put colour into the vision. It’s evident to anyone living in Britain, that our culture and our identity has evolved whether we like it or not. Britain and being British is not a race, nor is it a profession, or class. There are attributes of all casts that add to the colour and beauty, frustration and even the negatives of the British culture, and it is not, I believe, for one person to say this is our identity. While it is important that in this age of multiculturalism and integration, we hold true to some of our values and beliefs, for Britain to retain the ‘British’ essence, we must extend that hand of identity not to one class of people, job, family, or person, but make it applicable to those who wish to embrace it. Even though that girl in the Sunderland estate may never mix with an MP’s son, whose to say she wont? Even though the person working in McD’s may never speak to the daughter of a Lord, whose to say he wont, and if he does, come out the better?

The debutantes in this world of independent gain and female growth are a dying breed, close to extinction. And while those last breaths may be sweet, I think it’s better we invest our time and efforts not into the gain of 20 carat diamonds, or oversized fruit cakes, but rather into the development of our characters, to enable those who wish to attain the personal characteristics of confidence, inner beauty, intelligence, respect, etiquette and awareness that are relevant to all of us, even those from no network ,the opportunity to.

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